today... wat i do huh... slp lo... slp n slp n slp... haha... then my stupid bestfren reply so late... must be being a PIG la... slp slp slp... haha... then tell me today cannot go watch movie... but then we agree on fridae... tats it man... i going to pull u to create if u watch with me... haha... GOING to haha...
played 3 man badminton n table tennis todae lo... quite alright le... at least i practise my table tennis... smash n smash... badminton too... but like no effort lydat... need more practise to get better... haha... i hope tml be a better day lo... then i can utilse my days well...
after badminton go... eat dinner lo... suan n suan n suan someone... until he buay song le... think he quite pissed with me... hey bro... if onlu u noe juz how i want to tell u things... juz that i cant tell u directly what i want to share to u... coz i m not u... i cant tell u wat to do in life... i cant direct ur life... u chose the way, u chose to do wat u do... so ... if onli u noe wat i mean... n wat i want to get across to u... i noe i offended u... coz i care... i also care for wats going on... if i dun care... i wun even bother to meet u ppl lo... i can juz heck care meeting u all... i can tua u ppl lo... if i want lo... if only ppl understand my intention... coz no one noes except God... he knows me in n out... man doesnt... coz they hav narrow mindset... they wun understand wat things i can say what i cant... if onli ppl know both sides of story... things that onli can be seen by sight... if onli...
trina... i know u be reading this... but pls do not tranfers wat i type or ask me wat i mean... coz i rather go thru this alone... coz i rather ppl think i m a shit... then bring u down too... yah... ppl can think i m juz someone who stir things up... but is ok... i m juz a man... with violent acts... haha... i may seems heckcare... but i noe myself... more than u ppl noe me... i go thru what u dun see... wat u dun feel and wat u dun understand... coz i didnt share to man... i onli share it with God... coz God hear my crys... not man...
i wanna to commitement my work to God... i want to serve in youth ministry with my best efforts... i know i can... coz i hav God... but i cant be a super duper leader overnite... i need time to learn, to be train, to be growing more with the lord, for him to lead me, guide me, n direct me... i know his purpose for me is not juz being a g12 assistant... he has greater things for me... i juz need to trust in him to build me up... i noe he will, i noe he will give me the strenght, i juz need time n efforts to commite... i do fail at times, coz i m man, man is sinners, man dun walk this road alone, he walks with God... if onli he trust God...
first, i need to build up my walk with God... next my kinship, my parents salvation, my relatives... and then building my g12 up... working on new n old ppl, showing my care n concern... its not easy coz i dun always express it out, i rather protect ppl from far... and like to get things done when i m tasked... i hate to drag things but onli one issue i always drag... its frenship n r/ship... i not good in handling it, i nv will, coz ppl fail ppl, they relay on ppl, they use ppl, its hard for me to accept n forgo abt it... coz i hav feelings i hav thoughts i hav my stand n vision abt wat a fren shld be...wat a r/ship shld be... i hate dating, i nv want to date, ppl say if u dun date how to get gf... i dunno how... tats y i always single, i nv able to work out with a girl, or impress them... nv will i, i nv will...next i want a career that can build the kingdom of God... i want to invest in them, i noe i want, but i dunno y, i keep having nothing... i nv blame god, i blame myself for not walking the right way... i always make wrong decision, i do things that stumble ppl, i wish i can go back to my young time... and make things right... but i noe i cant, i juz hav to do my best in future, getting right and doing for his way and avaible myself in everything i could... i noe i could... i need chances... i making new frens, keeping the old, forgo those who not same vision as me... coz i noe if i keep hanging out with them, i wun grow in the lord, i dun want to say i m right all the time, ppl juz see things diff from what i see... if i say coz of experiences it's not... i could be wrong, but i believe if i walk the ways of the lord, i will not go far off from the right way... coz he is right... he is always right... i will listen to Godly ppl advise, but most important, i will seek the lord first b4 all things... fellowshiping with God is better than with man, coz God hears... man doesnt... they can give u abit advise, but we chose not to listen... coz we r man, we dun listen to man, coz we think highly of ourself... i hope i not such person, i noe sometimes, i very arrogant... but i still man wat... if i hav the talents to do well in some things, of coz i m arrogant la... how mani things i m good in... onli a handful... n still i not the best... i win n lose at times... so... y hold things on me... i juz say it to encourage weaker ppl, not to scare off oppsition... thats tactics u noe... haha... watever la... i can say is never dare me to do things i shldnt be doing, coz u will never noe anger in me can lead me to do things u will never expected... coz i m daring!
ya... i dunno wat i want to say le... wat i want to do now is to get right with God, fulfill my work in God's kingdom... work on my parents n relative's salvation, bringing back my old old evangelites who had (fallen) i believe they be back! and also build up a new frenship with new ppl, and keep old ones too... but i will forgo those who doesnt walk the same way... i reali will... i noe its not good, but in order for me to grow closer to lord, i shldnt hang out with them le... they always give me problems! yah...
so... thats it for todae...
Nelvin Blogged @ 10:42 PM
