Saturday, August 05, 2006
-sometimes hav you wonder, y shit ppl are alive?-
i wonder...
today i finally understand what's real hyprocrites are...
smile at u...
stab u at the back...
wow...
fine...
u want me out?...
i fulfill ur wishes...
i dont reali care abt ranks...
i know i hav heart for ppl...
i juz dun express it out...
like it or not...
i'm juz ME...
u cant change the fact that i m who i born to be...
came a point of me wanting to bless everyone in the region...
second thoughts...
m i that foolish?
m i foolish enuff?
ya...
i guess so...
agape love...
it's juz hard to spell it...
anyway...
during the movie, i hav been wondering...
thinking...
and even asking my ex-g12 for feedbacks...
m i wrongly accused?...
m i?...
i admit sometimes i might do things not that right...
but everyone's a scumbag in different ways wat...
u cant expect me to be prefect...
protray waT?
hyprocritise style?
no way m i going to put on an act...
i'm emotionless remember?
anyway...
i will pray abt the decision i going to make...
coz i'm too tired to carry on the politics...
it's been carry on for years...
ever since i come into it...
everyone is like noticing my wrongs...
juz diff style from them also cannot...
well well...
i had enuff...
i will juz be a quiet member...
attending services and leaving after that...
no more extra fellowship with outsiders...
i juz be with my long hard buddies who understand me...
it really hurts now...
after i put those effort...
i told myself to bleed only...
but i juz cant take it...
i felt that i letting P.D down...
he's the one who remembers me in youth...
and P.M for remember me since day 1...
i'm sorry...
but i juz cant take it...
i love to serve...
but with such politics, i'm simply hav no heart to go on liao...
too tired over the years...
i think i shall put my heart on something else...
i'm sorry for being a frank and direct person...
i dunno i offended how many thousands of ppl...
i'm sorry...
but either u love me or hate me...
i'm juz Me...
knowing me isnt hard...
all u need is to accept who i m born to be...
that's all...
thanks for giving me a chance...
i guess it's time to give someone else a chance...
-bye-
Nelvin Blogged @ 3:33 AM
