Saturday, August 11, 2012
currently i am station outside bishan mrt, in a car looking at nothing, and decided to blog once again. whether is there reader or not, it doesn't matter. what matters is that i can remember how i feel, i how i think, and why i cant say to anyone but to type it out. lol...
been attending too many weddings... and i know what i have been missing out. m i ready for another committement or attempt to chase anyone that could speaks of hope and security? i wonder... i made this vow to God that i will only chose someone from Church. from EFC made only. and i think i have to fulfill it. because i believe she is there, just that i am too afraid to even make any attempt or create effective or productive conversation. or maybe i think too much, or hoping for a respond when there isnt. or the respond is not what i expected of or anything. i dunno. i am confuse. i dunno if i am so direct, what will it be. a do or die situation?
or is because, there is competition or i am handicap. well, i always hav full of confidences in many things i do. but dunno why, when it come to women, i always like a shit. hahahahhaa... maybe those are high challenge women, thats why it is more challenging? i wonder...
i am not getting younger, i know i cant rely on friends anymore. i hav to find that someone. or make attempt on that someone. ohhhhhh well... God give me courage, give me guts... i can jump the sky, dive the sea, fly like bird... but why why why when i am just infront of that someone... i just become DuMB... then when she walk away, it just ache... this totally sux...
i always remember pastor marion's word for me... you wait somemore, later fruit drop, someone takes it away!!! how true...
there is such a good opportunity recently, and i slip it away... what an idiot i m... seriously...
is she reserved? is she waiting for someone to return? is she looking at someone else? all these question i wanna ask... and i wanna know... but how?
why did i fall sick last year... why is my golden years as handicap... why?
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well... GOD, show me the way... SHOW me... i dun want to just staring at her name at whatapps, or her photo in fb... i wanna know her more, and know whats inside her...
Open the door...
Open my guts,..
Open my stupid mouth...
Open...
Nelvin Blogged @ 7:51 PM
